Imposter syndrome. Just who do you think you are?

Ever had that nagging feeling deep down that you're not quite as good as everyone assumes.

That you've somehow managed to convince people you know what you're doing, and sooner or later someone's going to discover the truth, shout ‘Fraud!’, and all hell will break loose?

Welcome to the world of imposter syndrome.

It's a curious thing. You might have years of experience, a ton of qualifications and a list of achievements as long as your arm. Yet there's still that little voice in your head whispering, "You've just been lucky."

And the really frustrating part? The more successful you become, the louder that voice can sometimes get.

So, what's going on?

Imposter syndrome is a recognised psychological experience that describes the tendency of doubting your abilities or achievements, despite evidence that suggests you're perfectly capable.

You might dismiss a promotion as good fortune, put a successful achievement down to other people's efforts, or convince yourself that the praise you've received isn't really deserved.

It's not necessarily that you lack ability. It's that you struggle to recognise or accept it.

And here's where things get interesting.

What if the problem isn't what you can do, but what you believe you can do?

In other words, your feelings aren't always facts

We all have an internal commentary running through our heads. Sometimes it's encouraging. Sometimes it's about as useful as a chocolate teapot (something Coaching with a Cuppa strenuously avoids).

And when that commentary repeatedly tells us we're not good enough, it's easy to start believing it.

But just because you feel inadequate doesn't mean you are inadequate.

Think about it.

You might feel nervous about giving a presentation. That doesn't mean you're a poor presenter.

You might feel undeserving of a promotion. That doesn't mean you haven't earned it.

You might worry that everyone else knows more than you. That doesn't mean they actually do.

Our feelings are real. But the conclusions we draw from them aren't always accurate.

Of course, sometimes self-doubt can point to genuine gaps in our knowledge or experience. None of us knows everything. The important thing is learning to distinguish between something we genuinely need to work on, and something we're simply telling ourselves.

The stories we tell ourselves

One of the interesting things about imposter syndrome is how selectively we can interpret our experiences.

Make a mistake? That's proof you're not good enough.

Achieve something brilliant? Well, you probably got lucky.

Receive praise? They're just being nice.

It's almost as though we've appointed ourselves judge and jury, and decided the verdict before hearing the evidence.

But what happens if we challenge that thinking?

What if we stop accepting every negative thought as an unquestionable truth?

And what if we start giving our achievements the same attention we give our mistakes?

Where life coaching can help

As a coach I’m not going to tell you how wonderful you are. Nor am I going to try and replace every negative thought with a positive affirmation.

My role is to create the space to examine how you think, what you believe and whether those beliefs are helping or holding you back.

Questions for you to consider might include:

• What evidence supports the belief that you're not good enough?

• What evidence might contradict it?

• Are you judging yourself by standards you wouldn't apply to anyone else?

• What would you say to a friend who felt the same way?

• What might you do differently if you stopped assuming you weren't capable?

These aren't necessarily comfortable questions. But they can be revealing ones.

Because sometimes the biggest obstacle isn't a lack of ability. It's the assumptions we've made about our ability.

You don't have to feel confident to be capable

Here's a final thought.

We often imagine that confident people don't experience self-doubt. That they somehow possess an unwavering belief in themselves.

But confidence and competence aren't the same thing.

You can be extremely capable and still feel uncertain. You can be experienced and still have things to learn. And you can achieve something worthwhile without being entirely sure you'll succeed.

The aim isn't necessarily to banish every moment of self-doubt. A little uncertainty - even anxiety - can encourage us to prepare, learn and improve.

The important thing is not allowing those feelings to dictate what we're capable of achieving.

After all, there's a big difference between being an imposter and simply feeling like one.

And perhaps that's worth thinking about over a cuppa.